Since becoming a single mother I've found myself becoming far less forgiving when it comes to dating mishaps. I'm more likely to stuff a guy down a trash compactor than put up with the immature nonsense that is an inevitable side dish of the quest to find "the one".
(Au Revoir Mon Cherie)
Here's the shit I just don't have time for, I hope you don't either !
1. "Why didn't you text me back?" Sorry are you my husband? We matched on Tinder ten minutes ago and I have stuff to do. 2. Games. Leave it for the playground mister. 3. "See how it goes" after several months of dating. I would like to see how you go out of my door, and down the street and out of my life. 4. Ghosting. Let sleeping ghosts lie, if someone doesn't have the decency to be straight with you don't go chasing Casper the unfriendly fuckboy. 5. Creepers. Somewhere, in a parallel universe Kruger Street is spitting out cast rejects into our world. Midnight text detailing the various positions you would like to put me in? The only "position" you will be getting is my middle finger as I walk by. 6. Hookup hunters. I appreciate your honesty for one, but don't come knocking on my door for fun time I'm in my pyjamas by ten. (Differ from creepers because they actually drop it when you tell them you aren't interested). 7. Whining. Oh I'm sorry I didn't make time for you I actually am busy. Oh you saw me online? Maybe I was sending an email and THAT is none of your beeswax. 8. "Hey babe" I'm not your pig/sheepdog hybrid just yet move over.
9. Controlling behaviour- unless you are specifically Mr.Christian Grey don't dare to speak to me like that.
10. Constant demand for dirty talk. Hey, I'm currently washing vomit encrusted clothes dirty enough for you?