Tax Credit Turkey (100% chicken)

Single Mum Survival Guide
Dec 5, 2017
2 min read

For many single parents relying on state benefits the Christmas season can be especially straining. This is a tongue in cheek guide to surviving Michaelmas on a Tax Credit budget.

1. Mince Pie mountain

Why splash out on a giant Christmas cake when you stock up on mince pies that are on offer? Pick up a few packs of those bad boys for less than £3 and fashion them into a centrepiece. If you are feeling extra fancy add a sprig of Holly on the top.

2. POUNDLAND: The Holy Grail of kid’s presents

Fill up stockings with a variety of badly made kids toys, useless items and chocolate, very young children won’t know the difference and your friends are too polite to complain to your face about your cheap presents.

3. If your kid wants anything Apple

Give them an actual apple and tell them to be grateful.

4. Give your family all your unwanted cosmetics

When your sister appears at your door with an eye infection, you know nothing…..

5. Don’t be a hero

When choosing between a LOL surprise and your central heating, choose your central heating.

6. Deck the halls

With pictures of houses you will never own because our government is shit. Adorn said pictures with lights to make it festive.

7. Race to the overdraft

Challenge your friends to see who can run out of money the quickest in one week. Rules are as follows:

1. Must be on Universal Credits

2. Must spend money like a normal person

3. Must try to eat three meals a day

4. Must try to give children three nutritious meals a day

5. Must try to pay all bills, buy Christmas presents, feed and clothe children with only Universal Credit.

6. Trick rule- numbers five, two , four and three can not be completed.

7. Bonus rule- because of this you will all win the game.

8. Drink a pint for…

Every time your money is delayed due to a Royalty related Bank Holiday.

9. John Lewis

Go in there and take pictures of all the things you can never afford, but make sure to share their heart warming new Advert on your Facebook page.

10. Elf on the shelf

Get your ‘Elf on the Shelf’ some NHS therapy to help him cope with coming into a poor family. Let him know that he might not see a therapist until next Christmas because the waiting list is so long. Until then keep him away from the Eggnog.